The CPEP, or the psychiatric emergency room, at night in a large hospital in a large city is, as you would imagine, full of interesting people, myself being one of them in my current state of mind. I remember walking a lot. Around the room. There were about ten beds pushed up against a wall …
Tag Archives: psychiatry
The Night of the Absolute Center, Part 5
About This Blog Exactly what happened after this mental vision quest is a bit of a blur… I was starting to have a very difficult time keeping my thoughts routed in reality… I remember very vaguely trying the hardest I could to explain what I was experiencing to everyone present including my wife, my sister, …
The Night of the Absolute Center, Part 4
About This Blog In writing about myself as somehow “middle of the road” in life, I instantly become aware of the myriad different misconceptions there could be about me when I say this… To narrow it down a bit, I by no means think I think I am necessarily “average” or that my life is …
PTSD Therapy
For the past two months or so, I’ve been doing relatively focused PTSD therapy revolving around the events of which I’ve written and continue to elaborate on in this blog. The content of that therapy has moved around a bit, but mostly it has focused on imaginal exposures and in vivo exposures of the events …
Anger
I’m angry a lot… I mean, I think I was generally angry since I was a kid and my parents split up, but this is different. My anger now has a very clear flashpoint and focus, and it mostly has to do with what happened to me in that place. For two weeks I was …
Let’s Try This Again
Two years ago at this time I was in a mental facility after having one of the strangest experiences in my life… unfortunately for me and my family, it was about to get much stranger. I have spent the last two years recovering from that experience. I have been since diagnosed with PTSD from the …
The Night of the Absolute Center, Part 3
About This Blog To summarize the last two parts, on the night of December 30, 2017, I started to undergo a strange mental experience that came (seemingly) from nowhere. The sense I had was that my own reality and current sense of time were splitting apart, and I was becoming more and more confused and …
Trapped in Hell – Part 2: The Escape
About This Blog I remember getting out of the room, after what felt like days, even weeks or months. At first I wandered back and forth between the door of my room and an adjacent door that led to the stairwell. I could see it led to a stairwell through glass with wires in it. …
Meeting Connie
About This Blog Four days after the exact middle- The great misunderstanding begins. I didn’t sleep well. I was agitated, confused. I wanted to leave. I was getting more and more frustrated by the hour – I couldn’t completely explain why, though I felt I didn’t belong where I was and I had the sense …
Lessons Learned – Trapped in Hell
About This Blog I honestly could not have gotten through my own trauma as much as I have to date without the dedicated help I have received from well-qualified mental health professionals since the event. I realize daily that I am still very much recovering from that trauma, and I honestly suspect I might be …
The Absolute Center of Everything 